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 Is there a Santa claus?

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Vincent

Vincent


Posts : 19
Join date : 2009-10-27
Age : 55
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PostSubject: Is there a Santa claus?   Is there a Santa claus? Icon_minitimeSat Dec 19, 2009 1:33 pm

As a result of an overwhelming lack of requests, and with research help from that renowned scientific journal SPY magazine (January, 1990) - I am pleased to present the annual scientific inquiry into Santa Claus.
1) No known species of reindeer can fly. BUT there are 300,000 species of living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects and germs, this does not COMPLETELY rule out flying reindeer which only Santa has ever seen.
2) There are 2 billion children (persons under 18) in the world. BUT since Santa doesn't (appear) to handle the Muslim, Hindu, Jewish and Buddhist children, that reduces the workload to to 15% of the total - 378 million according to Population Reference Bureau. At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that's 91.8 million homes. One presumes there's at least one good child in each.
3) Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 822.6 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with good children, Santa has 1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, get back into the sleigh and move on to the next house. Assuming that each of these 91.8 million stops are evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false but for the purposes of our calculations we will accept), we are now talking about .78 miles per household, a total trip of 75-1/2 million miles, not counting stops to do what most of us must do at least once every 31 hours, plus feeding and etc.
This means that Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man- made vehicle on earth, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second - a conventional reindeer can run, tops, 15 miles per hour.
4) The payload on the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium-sized lego set (2 pounds), the sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons, not counting Santa, who is invariably described as overweight. On land, conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that "flying reindeer" (see point #1) could pull TEN TIMES the normal amount, we cannot do the job with eight, or even nine. We need 214,200 reindeer. This increases the payload - not even counting the weight of the sleigh - to 353,430 tons. Again, for comparison - this is four times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth.
5) 353,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance - this will heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as spacecrafts re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer will absorb 14.3 QUINTILLION joules of energy. Per second. Each. In short, they will burst into flame almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them, and create deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team will be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second. Santa, meanwhile, will be subjected to centrifugal forces 17,500.06 times greater than gravity. A 250-pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of his sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force.
In conclusion -
If Santa ever DID deliver presents on Christmas Eve, he's dead now.
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flipper

flipper


Posts : 1077
Join date : 2009-10-15
Age : 52
Location : Oregon, US

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PostSubject: Re: Is there a Santa claus?   Is there a Santa claus? Icon_minitimeSat Dec 19, 2009 11:24 pm

LALALALALALALA
I'm not listening
LLALALALALALALA
You are just being mean
LALALALALALALAL
Only coal for you Vincent
santa rendeer rendeer rendeer rendeer rendeer rendeer rendeer rendeer rendeer rendeer rendeer rendeer
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Lordlava

Lordlava


Posts : 3955
Join date : 2009-08-23
Location : The Land Down Under

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PostSubject: Re: Is there a Santa claus?   Is there a Santa claus? Icon_minitimeSun Dec 20, 2009 2:53 am

Vince,

You are constrained in your thinking to the current reality.

In an alternate reality, it is possible to slice and fold time and space so that all things can occur almost simultaneously for those skilled in the art.

Our view of the world is constrained by what we know. What we know is bounded by what we can observe or imagine. Because we do not know something does not mean that it does not exist.

In days gone past, the world was flat, the sun rotated around the earth, and stars were the souls of our ancestors looking down upon us.

If you believe or even imagine, really hard, then maybe Santa will come to you this Christmas. santa
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flipper

flipper


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PostSubject: Re: Is there a Santa claus?   Is there a Santa claus? Icon_minitimeSun Dec 20, 2009 11:15 am

What we do know is that time and space are intimately tied together. In addition, mass and energy are tied together. Moving and stopping items with huge masses requires large amounts of energy .
Many things in nature show a level of stored energy. (elastics, tendons, ect.) they turn kinetic energy into potential energy. So, assuming they can be quickly metabolised in an unconventional way, all of the snacks consumed have a huge caloric potential. In addition, Santa lands on rooftops, The higher an object is, it contains a higher amount of potential enrergy. All of this potential energy may be enough to move massive items at a high rate of speed.
WHile speaking of high rates of speed, it is proven that the faster something moves time slows down. As you approach an infinite speed, time slows down infinitely. In the instance of space travel humans will need to achieve these speeds to accomplish interstellar travel.
We may be able to circumvent this restraint, by fashioning a wormhole. Wormholes require huge amounts of energy but as stated above, Santa, has huge amounts of stored energy.

So in conclusion, using simple physics Santa can easily accomplish this.
Coal for you Vincent, you are a bad bad man. santa


Last edited by flipper on Mon Dec 21, 2009 11:19 am; edited 1 time in total
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Vincent

Vincent


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PostSubject: Re: Is there a Santa claus?   Is there a Santa claus? Icon_minitimeMon Dec 21, 2009 3:03 am

Flipper, Laughing

Your point about energy being equal to mass over the constant squared is quite valid, I bet you could publish that and make a name for yourself Wink , however if Santa were to exist he surely by now would have filed some kind of law suit about the way in which he is referred to, his original name after all is St. Nicholas Exclamation , what I mean to say is that if I were to ask the admin to change your name from Flipper to A talking dolphin with an uncanny knack for solving land based crime would you not be up in arms about it? Laughing

If we are to accept that Santa does exist then we must also accept that he i in breach of almost every single air traffic control violation known to man, add to this breaking and entering (not all homes have chimneys), speeding, illegal parking, loitering with intent to distribute the wrong presents (you could add cruelty to children to this one), theft (not all snacks are left for him), slavery (no one has ever meet an elf on holiday) and I bet you he as something to do with the "chem trails" conspiracy!!! Laughing

Anyway I don't like him because of his shameless involvement in advertising Coca Cola, how can good honest former communist block children find a new idol in a blatantly commercialist decadent western lackey like Santa claus? Laughing
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flipper

flipper


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PostSubject: Re: Is there a Santa claus?   Is there a Santa claus? Icon_minitimeMon Dec 21, 2009 11:10 am

First off, He can't file a lawsuit. He is a public figure, and assigning a nickname or a namer based upon a geographic or cultural interpretation of his name holds no defamitive water. Public figures have a level of exemption from any sort of defamation. Another point is that Santa and St. Nick may or not be the same person. Here is a link from NORAD. SInce it is the US Government, it has to be true Razz
As far as my name goes, if my name did not meet the guidelines they could and would change it or just delete it. Nicknames, however, are subject to a more personal interaction or a matter of convience. I am often referred to as Flip.

Your second argument is weak at best.
Air traffic regulations? Under special circumstances laws are bypassed for individuals/events. There is an implied consent (especially from the US) from countries by even offering a fighter escort when S.C. drops down to cruising speed that planes can keep up with.
Illegal parking? As testimony of witnesses state, said parking is done on private property.
Loitering with intent? He has no time to loiter, you pointed out yourself his turn around time is only 1/1000 of a second. That is hardly loitering.
Distribute wrong gifts? Well Aunt Erma should be prosecuted as well, I and my kids are too old for bunny footie pajamas
As far as his elves taking holidays and the tie in to slavery? The only mystical being I have ever seen taking a holiday is the Travelocity Traveling Gnome. Perhaps they know of a better place to vacation than us mere mortals. Secondly, perhaps it is more of a internship program? or worse, an indentured servant.
We all know that the contrails are a result of secret goverment Black programs such as the Aurora program.
I can not vouch for anyone else, however, anytime I have left snacks out, I have always included a note addressing them to him. That in and of itself would indicate an implied invitation so, therefore, no trespassing would be charged.
As far as his involvement with corporations such as Coca-Cola; magic or not, a guy needs to raise money to finance the operation of creating, manufacturig, and distribution of all of the toys that spoiled industrialized nation kids want.


I hope that Santa finds pity on your soul Vincent, (I figured I better not call you Vince as you might bring a defamation lawsuit aginst me and be all up in arms about it) Very Happy

Have a Merry Christmas
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Vincent

Vincent


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PostSubject: Re: Is there a Santa claus?   Is there a Santa claus? Icon_minitimeThu Dec 24, 2009 2:57 am

Flipper,

The more I think about it the more I have become increasingly disturbed with your steadfast defence of a man who has access to small children's bedrooms in the dead of night and also appears to be able to move through whole house holds completely unnoticed. Shocked Laughing
This character also possesses a propulsion technology that we clearly do not have or properly understand, was all this developed in his secret Arctic hideaway, a place we also have no knowledge of whatsoever. Laughing
Add to this is stealth ability which is positively alien as far as our ability to detect him on radar goes and all in all you have a rather sinister character involved in a scenario that is played out once a year on an international scale right before our very eyes and yet we see nothing. Laughing

That all said Santa has bought me a new 2-piece leather bike suit for Christmas so I really shouldn't complain. Laughing Laughing

Merry Christmas to you all santa santa santa


Last edited by Vincent on Thu Dec 24, 2009 6:48 am; edited 1 time in total
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Lordlava

Lordlava


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PostSubject: Re: Is there a Santa claus?   Is there a Santa claus? Icon_minitimeThu Dec 24, 2009 5:39 am

I was watching the man from the Air Traffic Control today on TV and he said Santa had lodged his flight for SE Asia and Australia for tonight. It was a 30 hour plan so I guess it also incuded other countries too.

Rudolph was fitted with some hi-tech device (had 3 letters) that allowed him to be tracked by Air Traffic Control so that they could monitor his movements.

If it is on TV then it must be true. The TV man would not lie to me.

Merry Christmas and may Santa reward you if you were on the Nice list and forgive you if you were on the Naughty list.
santa
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johnpogi

johnpogi


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PostSubject: Re: Is there a Santa claus?   Is there a Santa claus? Icon_minitimeWed Mar 31, 2010 7:50 am

No.
Ask an Atheist like me,no.








To prove that there is no Santa,ya gotta prove there is no Jesus.
And unlike any other stupid scientists saying blah blah blah is impossible etc. I would take a different approach,
I'll be using LOGIC.






If God Was already Perfect,with no other beings higher than him and has achieve infinite happiness,why would create the universe,the earth and all beings in it to serve him,if he was already in a Perfect state?
And if God Knows the future then why did he create Satan in the first Place if he already knew in the future than Lucifer would Rebel To Him?
scratch
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